A man and woman are on a blind date.
Woman: "If you really want to impress me, tell me two amazing facts about yourself..."
Man: "Ok...My penis is the same length as 3 Argos pens."
Woman: "And the second...?"
Man: "I'm banned from Argos!"
A bloke goes to a dentist.
Dentist: "Before I start. I want you to take a viagra pill."
Patient: "Will it stop the pain?"
Dentist: "No...But it'll give you something to hold onto when I pull the tooth out!"